I have a confession.
I’m not naturally gifted when it comes to Mommyhood or domesticity.
I actually have to try really, really hard when it comes to excellence in areas of parenting, housekeeping, cooking, and cleaning.
And, those extra special skills like sewing, knitting, gardening, or making jam?
This Momma don’t play dat.
Most days, my lack of proficiency in the Mommy skills areas doesn’t bother me too much.
But, I’ve had a rough few weeks.
Our household has been battling sickness after sickness, each of us befallen like dominoes with Winter Plague 2011.
And, just when I thought we had passed through Winter Plague 2011, it struck again.
This was also perfectly timed with the surprise bathroom renovation that is currently going on in our main bathroom.
Translation: this girl has been sharing a 3/4 bathroom with 4 boys for the past 3 weeks!
What we thought was a simple changing of a piece of moulding, revealed mold infested drywall, followed by the discovery of a mold infested shower, which all led to the very expensive discovery that we have a leak in our roof. So, the $8 trip to Lowe’s has turned into a small fortune of a renovation for us.
Let’s not even talk about the fact that yesterday, we learned that Mike may need a new alternator in the Volvo.
All that to say, I’ve been a little grouchy, irritable, and just not quite myself lately.
The Mommy Fail
Today brought the icing on the cake.
Upon picking up Lukas from preschool, there was a note with his things: “You forgot snacks today“.
I was humiliated.
I’m already the Mom who brings her son to school with his show and tell on the wrong day.
Now, I’m the Mommy who forgot to bring snacks.
You might not think that is such a big deal (they do have emergency snacks for such occasions), but for me it was the straw that broke the camel’s back.
I’ve been going through the past few weeks with this nagging feeling that I’m just not good at my job as a Mommy.
It wasn’t even exactly my desire to stay home with my boys.
But, it is the decision my hubs and I have made for this season.
I know a lot of stay at home moms and dads have these feelings.
And, I’m not sharing this with you so that I can have a pity party for myself in the blogosphere.
What I want to share with you is the way in which God draws me out of myself during these times.
I’ve found that this Oscar the Grouch attitude strikes me when I get too focused on my own problems, needs, and abilities.
When I lose sight of the glory of God and His sacrifice for me, I get downright ugly.
I’m not a fun person to be around.
A few weeks ago, our Pastor shared a sermon out of Isaiah 58.
It wasn’t even exactly related to what I’m sharing with you today, but I have been reading and re-reading this chapter daily since that sermon.
And, today, I realized it was exactly what I needed to hear from God amidst my epic failure.
From the prophet Isaiah (it’s a long passage, but I promise it’s totally worth it!):
6“Is this not the fast which I choose,
To loosen the bonds of wickedness,
To undo the bands of the yoke,
And to let the oppressed go free
And break every yoke?
And bring the homeless poor into the house;
When you see the naked, to cover him;
And not to hide yourself from your own flesh?
8“Then your light will break out like the dawn,
And your recovery will speedily spring forth;
And your righteousness will go before you;
The glory of the Lord will be your rear guard.
9“Then you will call, and the Lord will answer;
You will cry, and He will say, ‘Here I am ‘
If you remove the yoke from your midst,
The pointing of the finger and speaking wickedness,
10And if you give yourself to the hungry
And satisfy the desire of the afflicted,
Then your light will rise in darkness
And your gloom will become like midday.
11“And the Lord will continually guide you,
And satisfy your desire in scorched places,
And give strength to your bones;
And you will be like a watered garden,
And like a spring of water whose waters do not fail.
For me, God is saying,
“Get over yourself, Keri.
Go find someone who needs My Love, and you’ll see that you have something to give.
This is where you will find me.
This is where I will change you.
This is where I will be made known to you.
Where I will satisfy your desires, and make you feel whole in Me and Me alone.
Your strength will come through service to others.
Trust me to be your Strength.
Trust me to make your abilities more than you can imagine.
And, when you begin to see that and act on that,
Your gloom will turn to sunshine
I will give you strength and grace to face the day.”
That’s the simple word He gave to me today.
Like I said on Monday, notice how He always calls for personal responsibility and action?
But, through that action, He brings restoration, refreshing, and renewal.
I’m grateful for His love, His strength, and the fact that I can wake up tomorrow to a new day.
What about you? Do you ever feel down and out? How does God speak to you in the hard times, when you are in “the scorched places”?